Physics

 Hello mortals. Have you ever heard of the most complex subjectin the known universe, one which is still far from being understood, one which is theliteral cause of everything, one which made high school students hate school, and mostimportantly, one that made Rick and Morty possible. By the name of the video, you probably knowwhat I’m talking about – gender studies. Seriously now, I mean penguinologism. Now for real, today we’re going to speakabout chicken nugget science. Fine I’ll just stop. The first branch of physics is the most boringone and the only one that you can observe by yourself. It says that objects will move if you kickthem, and that if you punch somebody they will punch you back with the same force.

No matter how ugly you are, you still attract the entire universe towards yourself with a force inversely proportional to the distance. Next we have electromagnetism. Thanks to it your phone works. Also thanks to it the universe can exist. It describes how electric and magnetic fields– which are in fact the same thing – work. Briefly it can be summarized as electrons and photons doing weird stuff. Then we have thermodynamics, which tries to  explain why you shouldn’t jump in lava. It also says that entropy tends to get higher,which will result in an inevitable death of the entire Universe, called the Heat Death. We also have fluid dynamics, an excruciatingly hard way of determining how aerodynamic a cow can be. Chaos theory tries to describe how your life would have been if you hadn’t said that really stupid thing to your crush back then. We also have optics, which pretty much studie how light behaves when it passes through glass.

The next big pillar of physics is Relativity,relatively speaking. There is this dude – one stone, who comes and says that light’s speed is constant. And then people asked, well what if I run faster than that? And one stone said – you can’t because you’re fat. I’m not fat you reesky ill-breeding maggot. Your mass is not 0 so you are, bitch. Also, Newton, your physics is sh*t. Gravity is not a force, it is the curvature of space-time itself. Next we have quantum mechanics. A weird field with zombie cats, infinite versions of you and the core of rick and morty. The standard model says that there are at least 13 types of particles. First we have fermions - 6 types of quarks and 6 types of leptons. Then we have 4 types of Gauge bos ons, and one Scalar boson. Gluons obviously make glue. Photons make photon cannons. Electrons make electricity. The muon is basically electron’s overweight unstable sister. The Tau is basically the electron’s super-ultraover weight sister. It is also really suicidal and doesn’t like to live for a long time. These guys like to pass through everything,without interfering with anything. These guys are just boring.

These guys make up 6 flavors of Chupa-Chups,they also make up protons and neutrons. The Higgs boson just makes you fat. Then there is the superstring theory, whichre places all the elementary particles with really small vibrating strings. Different particles – different vibrations. It also argues that there are 11 spatial dimensions instead of 3. It looks something like this. Good luck imagining that. Next I highly suggest to first watch thisvideo on quantum mechanics, otherwise you won’t understand much. Too lazy to watch it? Good luck. First we have the Heisenberg’s Uncertainty Principle, which states that he is the one who nocks. Oh, no, never mind. It states that you cannot physically knowboth the position and the momentum of a quantum particle at the same time.

Then we have the Schrodinger’s cat, whichis both alive and dead at the same time until observed. This works for all particles, which existin all possible states as long as it doesn’t interact with anything else. Yeah. Oh, also, when observed, the cat splits theuniverse in 2, one with each version of the outcome. So a single atom can split the universe incountless ways, therefore creating a metric crap ton of parallel universes, accordingto the Many-Worlds-Interpretation. Now seriously, go watch this video to understandwhat I just said. I think I forgot to mention anti-matter, darkmatter, black holes matter, quantum gravity, the Big Bang, the infinite universe that issomehow still expanding, the Pythagorean Theorem. It’s because I only have 5 minutes, notseveral human lifetimes that are required to understand how the universe works. But this is totally enough to understand mostof the physics memes. Which is nice.